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Friday, August 31, 2012

'Major blow to Modi' creates Guinness World Record for being the most repeated news headline

Note - I've put up a disclaimer RIGHT at the top of the page. Nevertheless, let me re-iterate that this is a FAKE, SATIRIC POST. Please do not confuse this for true news.Published by The UnReal Times at - http://www.theunrealtimes.com/2012/09/01/major-blow-to-modi-creates-guinness-world-record-for-being-the-most-repeated-news-headline/

The mainstream media of India, today, achieved what no other country has, making an entry in the coveted Guinness Book of World Records, with its favorite breaking headline "Major blow to Modi", counting as the most-repeated headline in news history. 

The headline beat a long-list of repetitive headlines from all parts of the world - "Many killed in shootout at USA", "Bomb blast in Pakistan: many dead & severely injured", "Sachin Tendulkar slams ton, leads India to victory", "Sania Mirza crashes out in first round", "Awesome Aussies win again", "Messi strikes again", "Glory! Glory! Manchester United ", "Michael Schumacher grabs pole position", "Rift in Team Anna?" to name a few. Statistics show that the 'Major blow to Modi' and all its associated forms i.e. "Major setback for Narendra Modi govt", "Big blow to Modi" among others, have been repeated incessantly over a decade, totaling up close to a staggering 42000 times. Coming up second, is the news headline of Sachin Tendulkar slamming a century, which has been repeated a little more than 10000 times, over two decades. 

Confirming the record using a black marker on a white board, Craig Glenday, the editor-in-chief of the Guinness Book of World records, demonstrated, "The news headline and its variants have been mentioned 4 times a day, every single day, from 2002 until now, across 2 news channels, to make the following calculation -

Number of days elapsed: 307*1 ( in 2002 ) + 365*7 + 366*2 + ( taking leap years into account : 2004, 2008 ) + 241*1 ( 2012) = 3835

Number of times mentioned per day : 4 

Number of news channels mentioning this everyday : 2

Number of mentions on print media + Number of electronic mentions by other Indian news channels + Official postings on social media by all Indian news channels + Number of times the same headline has been used against Lalit Modi : 7485

Grand Total - 42000 

I'd like to extend my hearty congratulations to the Indian news media for this stellar achievement ! Well done, fellows! As for whoever this Modi guy is, - Dude !!! I've gotta say that these guys really love ya! ". Back in India, Justice Markandey Katju, Chairman of the Press Council of India, had his own bit of advice to give to all forms of media - "I advise the print media to start a dedicated daily column by the name 'Blow to Modi', so that all the related news pieces can go in there. A similar advice goes to electronic media too - it would be good if they have a dedicated talk show on prime-time, going by the same name. As for the social media, I'd suggest that news agencies take over the existing 'Blow to Modi' Facebook pages and Twitter handles and use them for their purpose".

Jubilant and overjoyed by their achievement, Indian news channels were seen unanimously flashing, printing and tweeting the headline - "Major blow to Modi as 'Major blow to Modi' creates Guinness record !".


  1. Hilarious.... I wouldnt be surprised if that happens to be true... ;)

  2. well, satire strikes a chord only when it is based on truth

  3. This type of record can make only in Indian. I am not surprising about this record. Mr. Modi is now a days one of most favorable person of India. People are eager to listen news on Modi..

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