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Saturday, October 6, 2012

Tribute to Ashwin Kumar by Pankaj Vaidya

Hi folks, 

I'm sharing with you all, something which left me speechless :) :) - a tribute written to me, by UnReal columnist Pankaj Vaidya ...on account of me having completed 100 articles for The UnReal Times :) ...

Thank you so much, Pankaj !! ..Really very kind & nice of you :)....Like I said, I'm speechless, overwhelmed, honored, humbled...I dunno what to say! :) ....Feels really special to know that there are people who truly value my work !! :) Thanks again !! :) God bless you !!


Citizen Satarist Ashwin Kumar completes 100 Posts on UnReal Times

On 1st October, with an article titled “Mulayam Singh Yadav to make Urdu commentary compulsory forthe Indian Grand Prix”, Ashwin Kumar completed 100 posts for “The Unreal Times”.

Ravi Shastri said on the occasion “Ashwin raced to his century like a tracer bullet. He has taken an
unassailable lead in this satire Grand Prix and it can only be said that in the end the game of satire was
the real winner”.

Turning to Mulayam Singh Yadav, Ravi Shastri asked “So Mulayamji, how do you feel about the fact that
Ashwin reached his magic milestone off you?” Mulayam said “This again proves that I am the kingmaker.
Ashwin may be the single largest citizen satirist on The Unreal Times but he needed my support to reach
the magic figure”. Mulayam further added “And to add to what Ashwin said, this season’s Grand Prix
course will have dangerous U turns along the way”.

Prominent persons from all walks of life congratulated Ashwin Kumar on this achievement. Prime
Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh said “I thank Ashwin for giving voice to my silence these past 2 years.” BJP
President Nitin Gadkari congratulated him and sent him a basket of samosas. Cartoonist Aseem Trivedi
has drawn a cartoon in Ashwin’s honor.

Indian Express editor Shekhar Gupta has invited Ashwin to join his newspaper. “Together we can take
Journalism of Mirage to new heights” he said.

Meanwhile Ashwin Kumar said on his Facebook page “First of all, deepest thanks to the UnReal
team. Secondly, thanks to all of you, my readers for all the encouragement & support.” Congress
General Secretary Digvijay Singh has taken strong objection to this statement saying “Ashwin Kumar
is ungrateful. He did not even bother to thank me. His century could definitely not have been possible
without me”.

Further Ashwin said on his Facebook page “108 articles and 100 solo articles on The Unreal Times”
Reacting to this, Digvijay Singh said, “Even I have 15 articles and 10 solo articles on The Unreal Times”.

Mahatma Gandhi who had returned to haunt the Congress party on April Fool’s day said, “It feels so
nice that Ashwin crossed the magic figure just a day before my birthday. I appreciate his non-violent
method of fighting corruption and upholding freedom of speech and expression. Satire is a special flavor
of Satyagraha wherein you shame the wrong doers without picking up a weapon. Keep it up Ashwin. All

the best. And hope to see your 200th article before my next birthday”.

Friday, August 31, 2012

'Major blow to Modi' creates Guinness World Record for being the most repeated news headline

Note - I've put up a disclaimer RIGHT at the top of the page. Nevertheless, let me re-iterate that this is a FAKE, SATIRIC POST. Please do not confuse this for true news.Published by The UnReal Times at - http://www.theunrealtimes.com/2012/09/01/major-blow-to-modi-creates-guinness-world-record-for-being-the-most-repeated-news-headline/

The mainstream media of India, today, achieved what no other country has, making an entry in the coveted Guinness Book of World Records, with its favorite breaking headline "Major blow to Modi", counting as the most-repeated headline in news history. 

The headline beat a long-list of repetitive headlines from all parts of the world - "Many killed in shootout at USA", "Bomb blast in Pakistan: many dead & severely injured", "Sachin Tendulkar slams ton, leads India to victory", "Sania Mirza crashes out in first round", "Awesome Aussies win again", "Messi strikes again", "Glory! Glory! Manchester United ", "Michael Schumacher grabs pole position", "Rift in Team Anna?" to name a few. Statistics show that the 'Major blow to Modi' and all its associated forms i.e. "Major setback for Narendra Modi govt", "Big blow to Modi" among others, have been repeated incessantly over a decade, totaling up close to a staggering 42000 times. Coming up second, is the news headline of Sachin Tendulkar slamming a century, which has been repeated a little more than 10000 times, over two decades. 

Confirming the record using a black marker on a white board, Craig Glenday, the editor-in-chief of the Guinness Book of World records, demonstrated, "The news headline and its variants have been mentioned 4 times a day, every single day, from 2002 until now, across 2 news channels, to make the following calculation -

Number of days elapsed: 307*1 ( in 2002 ) + 365*7 + 366*2 + ( taking leap years into account : 2004, 2008 ) + 241*1 ( 2012) = 3835

Number of times mentioned per day : 4 

Number of news channels mentioning this everyday : 2

Number of mentions on print media + Number of electronic mentions by other Indian news channels + Official postings on social media by all Indian news channels + Number of times the same headline has been used against Lalit Modi : 7485

Grand Total - 42000 

I'd like to extend my hearty congratulations to the Indian news media for this stellar achievement ! Well done, fellows! As for whoever this Modi guy is, - Dude !!! I've gotta say that these guys really love ya! ". Back in India, Justice Markandey Katju, Chairman of the Press Council of India, had his own bit of advice to give to all forms of media - "I advise the print media to start a dedicated daily column by the name 'Blow to Modi', so that all the related news pieces can go in there. A similar advice goes to electronic media too - it would be good if they have a dedicated talk show on prime-time, going by the same name. As for the social media, I'd suggest that news agencies take over the existing 'Blow to Modi' Facebook pages and Twitter handles and use them for their purpose".

Jubilant and overjoyed by their achievement, Indian news channels were seen unanimously flashing, printing and tweeting the headline - "Major blow to Modi as 'Major blow to Modi' creates Guinness record !".